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Finding a therapist can be hard! What are you supposed to look for? How do you know if a therapist will be a good fit for you? How can you find that sweet spot of a therapist who fits your personality, specializes in your issues, and that you can afford? Let me help.
When looking for a therapist, it’s important to remember that fit is super important. In fact, the #1 factor to success in therapy is that you have a good relationship with your therapist so finding someone you can eventually trust and be open with is critical.
This means that it might take a while to find the right therapist and trying different therapists until you get one that you feel comfortable with is part of the process. Lots of therapists offer short, usually free consultation calls but I think fit is best assessed in the first few sessions. It’s ok if you start with someone and later decide that things aren’t working for you. A good therapist will be happy to help you find someone else.
Another factor you’ll want to consider is the clinician’s specialties, insurance coverage, and location. It’ll be good to have someone who has experience with the issues you’re struggling with, who takes your insurance (if possible) and who are either located geographically close to you or offer online sessions. You can find potential therapists through online directories (a lot let you search by specialty, location, and insurance coverage), your insurance company’s website, or even through a simple Google search. If you don’t have insurance coverage and struggle to afford therapy, Open Path is a great option.
You’ll also want to be sure that the person you end up working with is at minimum trauma-informed and at best specializes in trauma specifically. Trauma is one of those things, that if you’re not trained to see, you can completely miss. I’ve met so many clients who have been diagnosed with 10 different things, been to multiple therapists, but still struggle with symptoms all because no one ever addressed the actual trauma.
Additionally, if you don’t understand the symptoms and dynamics of trauma it’s easy to fall into a judgmental or shaming stance. This is particularly damaging to trauma survivors who many times already shame and judge themselves. In fact, a shaming therapist can cause more traumatization and exacerbate the symptoms you already have. If you are unlucky enough to find one, run fast and find a therapist who will make you feel accepted for who you are.
You’ll also want to assess a potential therapist’s skill level when dealing with issues of trauma. You can assess this by asking about their education and experience specific to trauma. You can also ask about their conceptualization of how trauma works and what the major milestones of trauma recovery are. You’ll want to make sure that the explanation they give you makes sense to you and can even compare their answer to what the literature says about trauma.
Another thing you’ll want to look out for is whether they rush you into talking about what happened. A skilled trauma therapist will spend time helping you build your emotional regulation skills first. Processing the trauma without these skills can cause your symptoms to worsen and further traumatize you.
You’ll also want to watch out for any ranking or comparing of your trauma in a way that makes you feel like its being minimized or denied. It is unfortunately common for unskilled therapists to minimize the trauma you’ve experienced. If you struggle with little t traumas (see more about that here) this can be particularly damaging as we already doubt our trauma and shame ourselves for having symptoms when “other people have had it so much worse.” No one can decide if an event is traumatic or not except for you and your nervous system.
You’ll also want to make sure that your new therapist does not stigmatize the symptoms of trauma. As mentioned earlier, without a solid knowledge base about trauma it is easy to judge the symptoms and shame the survivor. This is especially true with the symptoms of trauma reenactment which can be frustrating for the person experiencing it and everyone else around them. A skilled therapist will model a loving, compassionate stance for ourselves and our symptoms.
Finding a therapist can be challenging but with a little education about what to look for, you can find someone who can help you on your journey with recovery from trauma.
Let us know what you look for in a therapist in the comments.
Fill our our new client inquiry if you’d like to work with us for counseling or contact us if you need resources or have questions.
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