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For trauma survivors, emotional flashbacks can be a huge hurdle to their recovery. Have you ever reacted to something or someone in the present as if it was something or someone from your past? If so, you might have had an emotional flashback.
Flashbacks are normally thought of in the context of PTSD from combat - the soldier who comes home but still sees the enemy everywhere they go. These flashbacks usually have a visual component and can feel like a hallucination. But flashbacks are more complicated than that.
For a lot of survivors (including those recovering from little T traumas - for more on that visit this article), emotional flashbacks are a more common and difficult experience. Emotional flashbacks occur when the amygdala overreacts to a trigger and causes you to experience intense negative emotions that are often reminiscent to how you felt when the original trauma(s) occurred. The amygdala also causes protective behaviors which can include hypervigilance for danger, tension, and restlessness.
Initially, we’re unaware that we’re experiencing an emotional flashback and our loss in executive functioning can impair our relationships with others as we become increasingly paranoid and negative about the future. Our reactions can also cause a deterioration of our self-esteem as we feel unable to change or stop these reactions once they start.
The good news is that, at minimum, you can learn how to better manage your emotional flashbacks and, at best, reduce or eliminate them altogether. Below I’ll outline and explain some tips on how to better do that. (All of this information is taken from the book Complex PTSD by Pete Walker which is a must-read for anyone recovering from trauma.)
Tip 1: Learn how to identify when you’re having an emotional flashback.
First, you have to learn to recognize when you’re in an emotional flashback. It’s only logical that before you can learn to better manage the flashback you have to know that you’re in one.
There are some common signs that you’re experiencing an emotional flashback and these can include…
feeling weak, young, or helpless/powerless
feeling like life is overwhelming, scary, or impossible
doing anything feels hard or impossible
being around others feels unsafe
feeling hopeless about the future
feeling completely tapped out with nothing left to give
experiencing negative thoughts that are frequent, strong, and hard to escape
going into anxiety or space out mode - symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system
Another clue, is something happening that is reminiscent of your original trauma. The connection can be pretty loose (it does not have to be the exact same thing) so this one takes some practice to get good at. I find that for most trauma survivors feelings of helplessness or powerlessness are huge themes, no matter what specifically happened to them. So, anything that evokes feelings of powerlessness and helplessness can usually trigger an emotional flashback.
Tip 2: Develop a script to repeat to yourself when you’re in the flashback. Write it down and keep it with you.
Next, we’re going to write down an actual script that you’ll repeat to yourself, out loud or in your head, whenever you recognize that you’ve entered an emotional flashback. This is an important step because when we’re in a flashback, our prefrontal cortex goes offline and it can be next to impossible to remember what to do or to even think of something reassuring to say to yourself.
I recommend keeping this script in the notes on your phone or carrying around a slip of paper. That way once you identify that you’re in a flashback, you can immediately go to it and begin reading/repeating it over and over until you start to feel the intensity of the flashback subside.
Below is a template but I highly encourage you to edit it for your own voice and for words that resonate with you.
Flashback Script
I am having an emotional flashback.
My brain feels afraid but I am safe. I am not in the past.
I do not have to allow anyone to hurt me, mistreat me, or use me. I can leave situations that don’t feel right for me and I can protest abusive or unfair behavior.
I love myself. I will take care of myself. I will support myself. I will be there, no matter what.
This flashback will pass. It feels like it will last forever but it won’t.
I am an adult now and I can take care of myself. I have the resources I need or can find out how to get the support I need. I am not helpless or powerless.
Tip 3: Use mindfulness of the body to work with the discomfort of the flashback.
Next, you’ll want to use mindfulness of the body and deep breathing to relax the nervous system. As you practice, you can even do Tip 2 and 3 at the same time for an extra impact.
Here you’ll want to use either a guided body scan, mindfulness meditation, or other mindfulness practice to build your ability to be present with the discomfort of the flashback without reacting while using deep breathing to relax and calm your nervous system.
The key here is practice. Mindfulness and relaxation are skills that are built with regular practice and if you only wait to use them until you need them, they won’t work nearly as well.
Tip 4: Use cognitive strategies to combat hypervigilance and catastrophizing.
One of the big signs of an emotional flashback are intense negative thoughts and feelings. These can be directed at ourselves, others, or the future. This is a protective measure that we learned to predict future trauma and contributes to patterns of hypervigilance and self-shame. These symptoms can really ramp up when we’re in an emotional flashback and cause a lot of distress.
However, we can use thought stopping and thought reframing to combat this. This is another practice and something that you will get better at as you repeat it. Our brain learns best through repetition so if you want to change your thinking or your mood you’ll have to get ok with doing it.
Thought stopping is literally what it sounds like, stopping negative thoughts by telling yourself to stop. Then you can use thought reframing to replace that negative thought with something more positive and realistic. It might be helpful to even keep a list of reframes for your common negative thoughts (we all have them) so that you can refer it to when in the midst of an emotional flashback.
Tip 5: Give yourself space to feel your feelings.
Unfortunately, we won’t always have a flashback in a place or time where we can give ourselves what we need. BUT if you can, taking some time to be with your feelings and process them can really help. Plus it lays a foundation of emotional wellness that will benefit you in the future.
In fact, it might be helpful to begin looking at your flashbacks as an opportunity to release and process old, unexpressed feelings of hurt, abandonment, or grief. It’s also an opportunity to learn to validate your own feelings and give your inner child the support and love that it so desperately needs.
Tip 6: Seek support.
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to manage it on our own, we’ll need the support of caring and compassionate others to help us regulate our nervous system. Connection with others is a major way that our brain regulates our bodies and perceives safety so it makes sense that we might need the help of someone else from time to time.
I also recommend finding a professional who is knowledgeable about trauma and trained in its treatment to help you through this process. People always tell me “I can do it on my own” and they’re right, you can. I can also roof my own house or change my own oil but it’s a lot faster and easier for me to pay an expert to do it for me. Therapy is the same way.
If you are struggling enough with emotional flashbacks that you were interested in this article, then chances are you could benefit from some professional support.
Tip 7: Gain insight into the source of your flashbacks.
Understanding what triggers your flashbacks and learning more about why certain things trigger you is valuable work for many survivors. This can help with the development of an effective flashback script as well as learning flashback prevention in the future. It an also help with reducing the shame that so many of us feel due to our symptoms and help us to foster kindness and compassion for ourselves.
Tip 8: Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
The process of more effectively managing your flashbacks is slow, repetitive, and frustrating. YOU WILL NOT BE GOOD AT THIS WHEN YOU FIRST START. As we’ve mentioned, your brain needs repetition to change so you will have to practice these strategies for a while before you start to see real, sustainable results.
I don’t say that to discourage you but to prepare you. A lot of us get really frustrated in the beginning and then get really hard on ourselves about our inability to change. But change takes time and beating yourself up won’t help you to get better, it will only make you worse.
Emotional flashbacks are a terrifying reality for many trauma survivors but with practice can be managed more effectively. Learning to identify when a flashback is occurring, using a flashback script, using mindfulness and cognitive strategies to manage the flashback while its occurring, giving yourself the room to feel your feelings, gaining support, building insight, and being easy on yourself are all key skills to practice.
If you need more support for recovering from trauma, please contact us today.
(This article is not intended as a replacement for professional support. Many people who experience emotional flashbacks will need professional and medical interventions to reduce or step their flashbacks.)
What strategies do you use to manage your emotional flashbacks? I’d love to hear in the comments below.
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